Why I'm Not Sad About Being "Alone" On Valentine's Day
Hey everybody!
I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day yesterday, regardless of whether you're single, taken, or anywhere in between. :)
I wanted to write a post regarding my feelings about Valentine's Day 2014. My feelings seem to change year to year, but this year has probably been my favorite. In past years, I've never really known how to feel about Valentine's Day. When I was younger (middle school years), I definitely had more of the "victim" or "woe is me" attitude, but as the years have gone on and as I've grown into the more positive, independent person I am today (complete opposite of the "victim" - thank goodness), my views of the holiday have shifted dramatically. The last few years I seem to have hopped on the "I'm-single-on-Valentine's-Day-therefore-I-hate-Valentine's-Day-and-all-happy-couples-that-walk-the-earth" bandwagon for no apparent reason, other than that's what society wants you to think/feel. This year, my perspective is different. So...after that lengthy, over-explained (it's a Jane thing) introduction, I am going to tell you why I'm not sad about being "alone" on Valentine's Day.
Just because there is a day devoted to focusing on love, doesn't mean I have to devote the day to focusing on being alone. Sure, the day is about love; spending time with your significant other, buying cute gifts to exchange, eating even more chocolate than usual, being even more in love. Extra kisses, extra hugs, the works! But guess what? Even though having romantic love in your life is great, there are many other kinds of love in this world, too. For me, this means the love I receive from my family, my friends, myself, and above all, God. I have so much love in my life, and even though it may not be romantic love, I know, hope, and pray that one day I'll have that kind of love in my life as well. I like to think it's all part of God's plan and preparation. A few year ago, I honestly couldn't have said that I truly loved myself. Back then I never understood what it meant, the whole, "in order to love someone else you must first love yourself" thing. But I've reached the point in my life where I can honestly say that I do love myself.
I'm comfortable in my own skin.
I'm content with the way I look.
I'm still content with the way I look even on the days I don't like the way I look.
I know how to laugh at myself.
I stopped caring what people think of me.
I know what I like. I know what I don't like.
I know my limits. Sometimes I push them. I know when to stop. Or when I should stop.
I know when I'm being ridiculous.
I know how to cheer myself up when I'm having a bad day.
I know it's ok to have bad days.
I can take care of myself.
I'm capable of picking myself up and moving on. It's not easy or fun, but it's doable.
I know when to walk away. Again, it's not easy or fun, but it's doable.
My heart isn't always on the same side as my brain. That's called "being human". Or female.
I know myself better than anyone else possibly could at this point, aside from God.
This list could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that I wasn't prepared to love someone with my whole heart when I didn't even love myself with half of my heart. Now that my heart and mind are in the right place, and I know that I'm capable of loving myself with everything I have, I'm hopeful that maybe someday I'll find that person who will be accepting of everything I have to offer.
How did I come to this point in my life? As I've gotten older and become more independent, I've become more confident, developed a "what have I got to lose" attitude, and strengthened my relationship with God. This is one of the best things that I could have ever done for myself, because I am so much more content and happy with my life with this new outlook and attitude. I find that when you are happier with yourself, your life, and everything in it, it's so much easier to be happier for others, despite the shortcomings you may still face. Of course I have days of doubts filled with those daunting thoughts and questions that would eat me alive if I let them.
What if I will be alone forever?
Will I have ten cats??
How will I support myself?
Ten cats...that's a lot of cat food and kitty litter...
Slight exaggeration, but my point is that I do have worries, doubts, and negative thoughts, but I choose to be immune to them. I try my best to stay positive and focus on all the good in life, because God has blessed me with an amazing, beautiful life. I don't want to spend my days feeling sad, I want to spend them embracing each moment and soaking it all in while I still can, good or bad. I know I may sound naive to a lot of you, and I'm not going to deny the fact that I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships and love, but that's another beautiful thing about life; it's a journey filled with experiences, both good and bad. We learn from these experiences, we adapt, and we figure things out as we go.
I realize I've talked about myself a lot in this post; far too much for my liking. The ironic thing is that even though I analyzed myself to an almost disturbing degree, through that analysis I discovered that the thing that would make me happiest in life is to have the opportunity to be there for someone else for a change.
Make someone happy.
Take care of someone.
Comfort someone.
Cook Bake for someone.
Laugh with someone.
Cry with someone.
Surprise someone.
Listen to someone.
Support someone.
Encourage someone.
Be there for someone.
Love someone.
I can be patient as God's plan for my life unfolds, because I trust in him completely. All in all, I don't want to find "that person"so they can fill my life, I want to find that person so I can fill theirs.
{End of Novel}
Ok...so I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts...now your thoughts may be ranging anywhere from "aw, cute" to "holy smokes, this girl is certifiable". Yeah, I didn't know I could be this hopeful or mushy either. Sharing feelings typically isn't my forte, but I obviously let that inhibition go in this post (understatement of the century, perhaps?). As Buddy the elf would say: "I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!" Life is what I love right now, and until "the one" comes along, life is enough for me.
♥ Jane
I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day yesterday, regardless of whether you're single, taken, or anywhere in between. :)
I wanted to write a post regarding my feelings about Valentine's Day 2014. My feelings seem to change year to year, but this year has probably been my favorite. In past years, I've never really known how to feel about Valentine's Day. When I was younger (middle school years), I definitely had more of the "victim" or "woe is me" attitude, but as the years have gone on and as I've grown into the more positive, independent person I am today (complete opposite of the "victim" - thank goodness), my views of the holiday have shifted dramatically. The last few years I seem to have hopped on the "I'm-single-on-Valentine's-Day-therefore-I-hate-Valentine's-Day-and-all-happy-couples-that-walk-the-earth" bandwagon for no apparent reason, other than that's what society wants you to think/feel. This year, my perspective is different. So...after that lengthy, over-explained (it's a Jane thing) introduction, I am going to tell you why I'm not sad about being "alone" on Valentine's Day.
Just because there is a day devoted to focusing on love, doesn't mean I have to devote the day to focusing on being alone. Sure, the day is about love; spending time with your significant other, buying cute gifts to exchange, eating even more chocolate than usual, being even more in love. Extra kisses, extra hugs, the works! But guess what? Even though having romantic love in your life is great, there are many other kinds of love in this world, too. For me, this means the love I receive from my family, my friends, myself, and above all, God. I have so much love in my life, and even though it may not be romantic love, I know, hope, and pray that one day I'll have that kind of love in my life as well. I like to think it's all part of God's plan and preparation. A few year ago, I honestly couldn't have said that I truly loved myself. Back then I never understood what it meant, the whole, "in order to love someone else you must first love yourself" thing. But I've reached the point in my life where I can honestly say that I do love myself.
I'm comfortable in my own skin.
I'm content with the way I look.
I'm still content with the way I look even on the days I don't like the way I look.
I know how to laugh at myself.
I stopped caring what people think of me.
I know what I like. I know what I don't like.
I know my limits. Sometimes I push them. I know when to stop. Or when I should stop.
I know when I'm being ridiculous.
I know how to cheer myself up when I'm having a bad day.
I know it's ok to have bad days.
I can take care of myself.
I'm capable of picking myself up and moving on. It's not easy or fun, but it's doable.
I know when to walk away. Again, it's not easy or fun, but it's doable.
My heart isn't always on the same side as my brain. That's called "being human". Or female.
I know myself better than anyone else possibly could at this point, aside from God.
This list could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that I wasn't prepared to love someone with my whole heart when I didn't even love myself with half of my heart. Now that my heart and mind are in the right place, and I know that I'm capable of loving myself with everything I have, I'm hopeful that maybe someday I'll find that person who will be accepting of everything I have to offer.
How did I come to this point in my life? As I've gotten older and become more independent, I've become more confident, developed a "what have I got to lose" attitude, and strengthened my relationship with God. This is one of the best things that I could have ever done for myself, because I am so much more content and happy with my life with this new outlook and attitude. I find that when you are happier with yourself, your life, and everything in it, it's so much easier to be happier for others, despite the shortcomings you may still face. Of course I have days of doubts filled with those daunting thoughts and questions that would eat me alive if I let them.
What if I will be alone forever?
Will I have ten cats??
How will I support myself?
Ten cats...that's a lot of cat food and kitty litter...
Slight exaggeration, but my point is that I do have worries, doubts, and negative thoughts, but I choose to be immune to them. I try my best to stay positive and focus on all the good in life, because God has blessed me with an amazing, beautiful life. I don't want to spend my days feeling sad, I want to spend them embracing each moment and soaking it all in while I still can, good or bad. I know I may sound naive to a lot of you, and I'm not going to deny the fact that I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships and love, but that's another beautiful thing about life; it's a journey filled with experiences, both good and bad. We learn from these experiences, we adapt, and we figure things out as we go.
I realize I've talked about myself a lot in this post; far too much for my liking. The ironic thing is that even though I analyzed myself to an almost disturbing degree, through that analysis I discovered that the thing that would make me happiest in life is to have the opportunity to be there for someone else for a change.
Make someone happy.
Take care of someone.
Comfort someone.
Laugh with someone.
Cry with someone.
Surprise someone.
Listen to someone.
Support someone.
Encourage someone.
Be there for someone.
Love someone.
I can be patient as God's plan for my life unfolds, because I trust in him completely. All in all, I don't want to find "that person"so they can fill my life, I want to find that person so I can fill theirs.
{End of Novel}
Ok...so I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts...now your thoughts may be ranging anywhere from "aw, cute" to "holy smokes, this girl is certifiable". Yeah, I didn't know I could be this hopeful or mushy either. Sharing feelings typically isn't my forte, but I obviously let that inhibition go in this post (understatement of the century, perhaps?). As Buddy the elf would say: "I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!" Life is what I love right now, and until "the one" comes along, life is enough for me.
♥ Jane
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